Missed That Memo Harry Potter
by Cager Macleod
Summary: The truths about the Harry Potter universe, the world is not as we know it.


**Missed That Memo – Harry Potter.**

_Brought to you today by Lord Voldemort and the singing supremes._

In this episode of Missed That Memo, we are looking into the world of magical boy HARRY Potter, by the J.K. Rowling. Let's begin.

The plot:

A boy, who's parents where killed by the All Powerful, All Consuming, Lord Voldemort survived the attacked and escaped only with a lightning scar (Obviously by dark magic.) Lord Voldemort was left to bide his time in the forests of Albania entertaining snakes with his artistic tongue.

Now as Harry grows he learns he is a wizard and starts attending Hogwarts school, his scar acts as an antenna for Lordy's thoughts. Which ends up with Harry leading to the murder of his beloved God Father Sirius. Harry eventually beats Voldemort in a seemingly rushed seventh book. After this he takes over as the new DARK LORD.

THE CHARACTERS:

HARRY POTTER:

Know affectionately as scarhead by his long time lover Draco Malfoy. Harry is the envy of one and all. Scar on his forehead, wand in his hand, he is simply irresistible. With best friends Ron and Hermione he is able to over come all challenges thrown at him. Harry is rather stubborn, arrogant and self-centred, but we don't go on about that. He is vying to become the next DARK LORD, thus why he has to kill The Lordship Voldemort.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Dumbledore, is the aged headmaster of Hogwarts and is often accused of an unhealthy relationship with Harry who has got to be more than several decades his junior. Dumbledore is simply to old to exist. And he would still be alive today, if he was not killed by Snape, to celebrate his 150th birthday.

RONALD WEASLEY:

Red headed and apparently was born in a bin, as reported by the all knowing Draco. Faithful sidekick of Harry Potter, he secretly nurtures a jealous desire to be better than Harry and kill him whilst he sleeps.

HERMIONE GRANGER

Know it all bossy boots with no sense of Humour. Her hair crackles with static electricity when she is mad and she desires nothing more than to bed men more famous than herself. Thus why she knocked back Neville's offer to lose his virginity to her in their fourth year. She, however was seen dancing with a world famous international Qudditch player named Victor Krum. It is to be had that she was successful in her goal of bedding him. To date it has not been proven whether she has added Harry as another Notch in her Belt.

DRACO MALFOY:

Draco is a kind and sensitive boy, however he has an uncanny knack of knowing everyone's sordid histories. Draco is named the King of Slytherin house at the end of the seventh book.

Voldemort:

By far, he is the coolest character in the books. He is a third man, third snake, third leprechaun hybrid that can kill with the blink of his eyes. He had a Snake called Nagina(or something along those lines) which is his replacement for a woman, as he is third snake. He became the Dark lord after he was ostracized at school for having a hare-lip.

SEREVUS SNAPE:

The Potions Professor and a player who is known to sleep around with students and teachers alike. Although he has slept with more women than Dumbledore has had birthdays, he hides a deep and eternal flaming torch for Sirius.

SIRIUS BLACK (or Citrus Black)

Famous rock-star sent to Prison for inappropriate spells on his genitals ( apparently to make them appear bigger on stage). He breaks out to resume the role in Harrys life that he's not even sure about.

**The what happens after the end of the books:**

Harry becomes the dark lord and takes over Hogwarts, where he breads Dragon-Blast ended Skewt hybrids.

Snape becomes famous for the discovery of the wheel and Hermione plans to bed him and Harry at the same time.

Sirius comes back as a Ghost and changes Lupin into a WOLFMASTER GENERAL.

Ron moves to Africa and creates an army to take on Harry.

Dumbledore roles over in his grave.

AND THAT'S IT, THATS WHAT HAPPENS IN THE HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE AFTER WE ARE THROWN SO UNCERIMONISLY FROM IT

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR MORE MISSED THAT MEMO

**A/N There we have it, a completely out of character look at harry potter.**

**Read and Review, no flames because what's the point of hating, we should be loving.**

**Until next time CM.**


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